I’m alive. Stuff is going pretty well. It’s still not where I would rather have it and I got bored with the status quo a long time ago, but I have a better idea of the general direction I need to be moving in, and I’m taking concrete steps to get there. I needed income and needed the steps taken to be simple and consistent and repeatable and sustainable and I think I’ve hit on something that meets those criteria. Oh, and it has to get around me not having my own car. That’s worked out too. I doubt it’ll ever make me rich but I don’t need rich, I just need “income on the level of being able to live like a grownup again.” I’d settle for that at this point. Whatever comes after is just gravy.
I was starting to think I’d been buried alive but what do you know, I’m not after all.
I needed to reframe a few things and look at them from a different angle. It is amazing what a change in perspective can do for your mental health.
Don’t think this means I’m going to knuckle under to your version of things. I’m done with that. If you want to be a dysfunctional little shit and make everyone around you miserable, you can certainly do that; it’s a free country. But everyone else gets to choose whether they will put up with you because they are also free. I choose not to. Sorry (except I’m not), but you’re done, far as I’m concerned. At least two strikes and I’m not a fucking baseball game.
That was addressed to several people. Don’t feel like I’m singling you out. You’re just not that special. Sad part is, you could have been. I’m a sentimental little bitch. I even keep exes’ photographs and I don’t think that’ll ever change. My kids will go through my photos someday and say, “Who on earth was THIS?” and chuck half of them.
I’ve suffered some losses in the past few years that I wish I hadn’t. But I guess part of getting older is understanding that this happens. Doesn’t make it any more pleasant.
But the way of life is, stuff dies and dead stuff clears out and new stuff comes in and takes its place. The new stuff has been coming in too. It’s been something. What do you know.
Life really is beautiful. No reason to say that, it just is. That’s why I get so upset when people try to make it ugly. But it’s not enough to get upset when that happens. I have to add to the beauty my ownself or I am not helping anything.
Working on it. Meanwhile, so much to appreciate. Purple. And BATS!