I put the text of that letter here 80% for my own purposes. I said something about thinking that maybe some of the people only hearing her side would be curious and come find me and thus could read my side, but realistically I don’t think it will happen. Her dad runs around with people who are very insular and one-sided (but like to boast about how much they love “diversity” — bullshit, they’re as bigoted as everyone else is) and Don’t Want To Hear It when one of their own is criticized at all, ever, and given that my daughter loves to hang out with what are affectionately (ha ha) referred to as “SJWs,” I don’t think her friend circles will be much different. They’re at war, you see, and everyone else is the enemy. Which makes them… pretty much no different from any other human. Our instinct is to be tribal, and that instinct has been perverted by civilization. It is what it is.
But I wanted to follow up for folks who are coming here from That Hobby Site and going “WTF is this mess” and “this is who’s running a fan site about Oor Big Man?!!?!?” and so on.
I used to joke about being a “Cajun hippie,” even made it a sort of online persona for a while, and I was interested in all that social justice mess and followed a religious movement that was decidedly not Abrahamic (Judaism/Christianity/Islam and their offshoots) and gravitated toward Those of Alternative Sexuality and so on. That was my life for a good while. It started going sour for me when I realized people were just fashion-shopping, they didn’t really believe in any of that bullshit, and unfortunately part of the going-sour process was experiencing an implosion in my romantic relationships. Plural.
You wouldn’t know it to look at me but I once participated in the polyamory community. When all this shit started with my daughter’s father I had a boyfriend already, then got involved with my daughter’s father, and had occasional flirtations with other men that never went anywhere, with the exception of one guy who was a one-night fling during one of our church festivals. (It was an interesting church. One of the lesser Mountbattens used to be a member, and he got busted for indecent exposure the year we elected him May King. Don’t ask.) Trouble was that I was always people’s secondary partner, and it was depressingly always married men, and I never had anyone of my own in all that time. Wasn’t good enough or cute enough, I guess.
And that was before shit started going to hell with my daughter’s father. Now I suppose I’m branded as a troublemaker because I don’t just shut the fuck up and die when someone’s mean to me, but I guess that says more about them than it does about me. Like, why would you want to cause that level of upset in the first place. Did they think I was just ranting for no reason? Is it okay in their world, I wonder, to lie to your partner and run around behind her back just because you haven’t put a ring on it? Because that’s not what I was fucking told when I fucking went in to begin with. I was told openness. Compassion. Communication. Respect.
For years I waited for these to materialize. Never happened. Never will. They just wanted to put a fancy name on fucking around and pretend it was a social movement so they wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore.
So I’m done. There’s only one man now that I would have even considered trying out with, but come to recently find out he’s completely off the table so I guess it’s cats from now on.
Well, not just yet. I want to do some traveling first, get that out of my system, if I can ever get this poverty thing sorted. But later on.
So anyway, if you wanted to know why the fuck I was all over the place about my daughter’s father and his girlfriends and wives all the while I was pregnant with our kid and holy Maury Povich, Batman!… That’s why. Glad we got that sorted. Now fuck off.