You learn a deadly kind of patience…

…when you have estranged family.

You can’t ask whether everything’s okay.

It might not be okay. You asking whether it’s okay may trigger your estranged relative into issuing a torrent of abuse at your head and an answer as to exactly what is not okay and why. It will inevitably be all your fault and no one else’s. Inevitably you will have passed some arbitrary expiration date for making it all better.

Or it might be okay. You asking whether it’s okay may trigger your estranged relative to wonder what is wrong with you that you would think to ask, or what you’ve done wrong that they have just not become aware of yet.

You can’t NOT ask whether everything’s okay.

If it’s not okay, your estranged relative will think you indifferent to whatever wrong you have committed against them.

If it is okay, they’re ignoring you for no good reason. You must be aware of this as a possibility and it rankles almost as much as if there were something wrong for which you were being punished.

You know it would be better to know, but if you ask whether everything’s okay and it’s not okay, then you have to live with yourself as Maker Of Things Not Okay. That’s harder than the fact of things not being okay.

So you decide it’s best to say nothing.

Maybe they’ll come around.

One of these days.

P.S. The same is true of estranged friends.

Family tree page updated

Edited the family tree page (lookit up at the navigation bar ^^^) to make a little bit more sense. You’re welcome. I putter around with my family tree in fits and starts. Right now’s kind of a fallow period in that whole endeavor because I’m suffering from brain fog and slight depression generally. (You don’t want to know how far I’ve let some things fall into neglect. This is going to be an interesting fall and winter if I don’t get that stuff straightened out…) But I may pick it up again soon. What I’d really like is to have a paid subscription to Ancestry for a while so I could go on more than hints, which half the time are misspelled or have something else wrong with them anyway. BUT! I’m not at that point yet. Oh well.

Also, right now my hit counter in the right sidebar is convinced I’m in Trenton, Michigan. That’d be a neat trick; I’ve only been to the Detroit airport… what… once or twice in my life, I think? Stoopid thing. Oh well.

Social (media) page updated

Title does what it says. I updated the link to my Facebook profile since yes Virginia, that has changed. As in a couple months ago at least, but I’m getting closer to the time that Profile Two (see the aforementioned Social page for an explanation) is going to go bye-bye, so I might as well get everything up-to-date.

I remembered I still need to add some things in, like my deviantART account. Well, when I get to it. Not like I put anything major at dA anyway.


Welcome to my home page. Blah, blah, blah.

In the past I’ve used this to leave messages where I think people will be able to see them regardless of our ability to contact one another in other venues. I may still do that every once a blue moon, and hopefully less often in fact, but at this point I think I need to turn this to other purposes.

First up, I’ll use this blog area to let you all know when I update something elsewhere on the site. I anticipated that months ago, hence the “updates” in the menu bar up there near the top of the page. That’s what this is called instead of “blog”. “Updates”. So I will “update” you when something here changes, if you care about that at all.

Other “updates” I may introduce in the future might have to do with things I’ve made and accomplished that might vaguely be of general public interest. Or at least the interest of people who actually know me. But we’ll see. It’s just an idea. I have a way of throwing ideas out there and then never following up, as lots of you already know. Meh.