This is not a page containing links to my social-media accounts. Those links are in the footer at the bottom of this site. (If you go to the blog page, they’re im the sidebar. Hard to miss, just a collection of logo symbols.) I may add some links here eventually to stuff that isn’t included in that collection, but I don’t really care about that right now.
In the meantime: This is more about what I use social media for, and what I expect out of my participation there, and boundaries I’ve drawn.
Friending and following
Nearly all my social-media accounts are public; all my recent Facebook posts are public. Do your due diligence before sending a friending or following request. If I find we’re a severe mismatch, I will rectify the situation. If being unfriended or unfollowed bothers you, take steps to prevent it.
Special Facebook note: I utilize the special friend lists, so some of my Facebook friends are on Restricted. This means you can only see my public posts. I only utilize that under very specific circumstances — mostly to minimize drama in my meatspace life, but I’ve got one or two other reasons too. How to tell if that’s you: if you ever notice you can’t see my recent posts but you can see we’re still Facebook friends, you’re Restricted. A paradox: most of the people I’ve got Restricted don’t notice most of my posts anyway sooooo… in the end, the net effect on you will be pretty much nil.
Sometimes I unfollow a person but still keep them as a friend, mostly because we can still DM one another; usually this is because you have one or two political monkeys on your back that get on my fucking nerves but I still like you as a person. You won’t be able to tell if I’ve done this, and I’m not going to tell you either way, so just carry on as usual.
Special Instagram note: You are not Rory fucking McCann. I already follow his official account, blue check and all. As the big man would say: Fuck off.
Dealbreakers
Oh, you wanted a list? Nah. I know what I want and do not want to see in my social-media feed. I outgrew flouncing about twenty years ago. If I get fed up with you, you’ll just be gone.
But, yes, there are dealbreakers. If you suddenly find yourself on the outs, you tripped one.
I don’t usually block unless someone’s behavior is particularly egregious. I take someone else blocking me as an act of hostility. If you regret it later and want to make nice, you have to actually undo the blocking too. Leaving it in place and adding me on another account isn’t quite there.
Effort
There is no reason for us to be connected on social media if we never interact. While on some platforms I don’t mind the silence because I don’t spend much time there anyway, expectation of mutuality is especially a thing for me on Facebook. I can often tell if someone’s got a lot going on and that’s perfectly okay (and sorry that life’s putting you through the shit), but if you’re dead weight you’re gonna be pruned eventually. I’m not a status-seeker and I don’t give a fuck about popularity. I want actual relationships — friends, potential partners, whatever. I can’t just go the next twenty or thirty years of life, which are probably all I have left to live, being “put off until later.” If you valued me you wouldn’t put me off. If you don’t value me you will eventually get the boot. The only reason it isn’t happening faster is because I’m a sucker and keep hoping I am reading the situation wrong. That won’t last forever so if the prospect of me walking away worries you even a little bit, step the fuck up.
I hate being like this because it’s an exercise in being pathetic but apparently, the way things are going these days, people need to be reminded there are human beings on the other side of that screen. Hello. Human being here. Treat me like one. Thanks.